The concept of what it means to be part of a church that is perfect for you and telling that apart from a perfect church can at times be a bit confusing. As someone who has attended a few churches and has been a member of about 2 or 3 at most, I have realized that in one way or another, perfection as much as we desire is as far from the church as the sky is from the earth. Hey, it is ok though. As we wait for our groom, Jesus Christ, and work towards being the bride that He desires, I would love to share with you some words of encouragement and perhaps wisdom to be effective in a church setting.
***Sunday, December 28, 2014***
We had just arrived in Houston, Texas with my family a few months prior to this date and now I was on my way to a brand-new church that I had never seen before. “Will it be a big church? Will there be a youth fellowship? Will I like it? How would it feel? Ahh…I am nervous!!!” All these thoughts were rushing through my head on the drive to the first church I attended in this new city. We finally arrived after 15 minutes or so and I stepped into a small room with about 50 seats inside (there could have been more, but I was too nervous to look around). The logo on the pew read “Bethesida International Church of Houston, TX.” I took a sit on one of the chairs in the 4 or 5th rows and eagerly waited for the program to start. After what felt like decades, which probably was only a few minutes, the program started and we got through prayer, and worship and the pastor walked up to the stage to introduce newcomers to the church. I raised my hand to introduce myself. “My name is Abenezer. Ferehiwot’s (my mom) daughter” and the rest was history.
You will probably read about my experiences at my home church being incorporated into my blogs in the future since this is the first church that I have served in and still do that has had a great influence on my overall growth. In all my years of serving, I have come across so many different people who have taught me a lot about different kinds of people, but I am forever grateful for the ones that have helped me to look at my self and my short comings which in turn pushed me to become closer to God to make a sense of it all.
Myth #1 – Church People Don’t Have Conflicts
Now, we all know that a person will even bite their own tongue by mistake let alone get caught in conflict with another person. So, to my utter disbelief, in the few years of my stay at my home church, my myth number one from my list that I had which was that churches do not have even a hint of conflict was busted. When I started to realize that a church is not a place where all the blameless and perfect people gather but is more like a garage shop where every person comes with their own set of brokenness to be fixed before God, it made my whole experience of being part of a church much easier and overall enjoyable. You know, to be completely honest with you, I feel bad for people who waste their time looking for a perfect church when their focus should be praying to God to lead them to a church that is perfect for them. Although these two sound the same, a church that is perfect does not exist but is the goal of every church of Christ for the second Coming of Christ (the groom). The church that is perfect for you, with all its shortcomings and messes, is the place where God will place you and grace you to stay in.
Back to my story.
When times of conflict, chaos and sharp disagreements rose in my home church, I remember being so fearful of the thought that I had found myself in the wrong place. For someone who was new to serving in a church as a member, I remember thinking “why is the church messier than the outside world?” In the long run, however, what I have noticed is that I caught myself being part of this mess all on my own and realizing that I too was not the squeaky-clean princess as I thought of myself to be. I mean, that for me was the hardest pill to swallow.
You mean to tell me that I messed up and now I must apologize? You meant to tell me that I got caught in a business that was none of my own and now I got to clean up the mess and say out loud “I am sorry”?, you mean to tell me that all the while I was focusing on the splinter that was in my fellow co-laborer’s eye, I had a log in mine? Nope. I refuse to believe that.
I considered this to be an early diagnosis of pride for me. God being the good father that he is, in this imperfect church of mine was helping me remove the log out of my own eyes and see my imperfect ways and how I can deal with my shortcomings for my sake and above all for the sake of his kingdom. Was it easy? Uh…NO, but it was a much-needed detoxifying process that I thank God for. What hurts the most in these seasons, especially in a church setting, is losing people you have once served, broke bread with, and even shared intimate details of your life with. Where I thought, I was starting to build a lifetime friendship, I soon came to realize that not every seemingly good idea of mine is God’s idea. There are times I look at old pictures of old church members who are no longer with us due to multiple reasons and find myself reminiscing on what I like to call “the good old days”. But only God truly knows if they were even that for, I have no idea of what he has planned. God helped me understand that in my growth, there are people that I won’t be able to go along with in their journey and there are some that can’t join mine. Slowly but surely, this made me trust in God and his plan even more.
My point is that the church, like the family we were born into and grew up with, can be messy but at the end of the day, taking time to look at ourselves and our contribution to the good and bad will help us understand where we belong. So, if you find yourself asking whether the church you are in is for you unless that question is raised for obvious reasons such as heresy and unbiblical teachings, I recommend that you stay there while praying to God to give you clear instruction and be on standby for what he has to say. Remember, “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails” (Proverbs 19:21). So, take your time to hear from God as you wait on him while setting a realistic standard for what a church is supposed to be, prepare yourself for God’s work or the church and area of ministry you belong in.
Grace and Blessings to you and yours,
Your sister in Christ, Abenezer.
Kingdom Zeal 